Vocation Story
Marian Sisters of the Diocese of Lincoln
It is hard to determine exactly when my religious vocation began. Despite the fact that I had never met a religious sister and did not go to parochial school or CCD, in sixth grade I told my mother "I'm going to be a nun!" The idea persisted, perhaps in the back of my mind, through my high school years. However, I believed that you had to be at least 70 years old and retired to enter the convent.
During my freshman year at college, I began to get involved at the Newman Center and grew greatly in my understanding of the Catholic faith. After two years of college, I got a full time job at a local nursing home where I worked for two years. During that time, I also visited the Marian Sisters on several occasions. Two college friends had entered, so I would come out and visit them. Later I received invitations to various days of prayer. I always enjoyed the visits and prayer. However, if anyone asked me if I was considering a vocation, I replied, "Nope - not my calling."
In fact, I was planning to get married eventually. I was dating a young man, and we seemed to have a healthy, Christ-centered relationship. After we had dated almost two years, I realized that he was not looking for a long-term relationship even though I was. Seeing this deficit, I began to look at what I really wanted in life. I saw my job at the nursing home as being a good short-term experience, but I did not want to work there forever. I began searching. What DID I want to do with my life?
It was on that Easter Sunday that for the first time, I sincerely asked God what He wanted of me and told Him I would be willing to do whatever He asked. Immediately the idea of religious life came to mind. Part of me regretted my generosity with God and wanted to say, "Anything but that!" However, the better part of me realized that I needed to be open to the idea of religious life.
Although I sincerely wanted to do God's will, I found myself in a dilemma. One day I would believe that I was meant to enter the convent while in the back of my mind I would think, "But what if God wants me to be married?" So, I would decide, "I'll get married." Then in the back of my mind would come the thought, “But what if God wants me to be a sister?" So I would decide to be a sister. This mental teeter-totter continued. Finally, I went to my spiritual director and admitted my confusion. She recommended that I pray a rosary novena.
In the Novena I prayed, each Hail Mary was offered up as a rose for Mary. The joyful mysteries were white roses, the sorrowful mysteries were red, and the glorious mysteries were white roses tinged with red. I decided to pray this 54 day Novena to know God's will for my vocation beyond the shadow of a doubt. I wasn't in the habit of praying a daily Rosary and I doubted my ability to persevere. However, I remained faithful and one day realized the Novena would soon be done. I decided to show my gratitude for merely finishing the Novena by buying a bouquet of roses to place before Mary in my parish Church. I ordered three white roses, three red roses and three pink roses. I didn't think the florist would understand if I asked for white roses tinged with red so I substituted pink ones.
The evening before the last day of the Novena, I picked up a Catholic Digest and randomly opened it. I found a quote by a religious sister who was celebrating her 25th jubilee. She contrasted the joys and blessings received in the religious life with those she would have missed had she been married. This direct contrast spoke to my heart and I thought God was telling me that He wanted the same blessings for me. However, I wasn't positive it was God's voice I was hearing, so I asked Him to verify the sign the next day at Mass.
I was in the habit of going to the chapel of a local cloistered community for 7 am Mass each day. I listened eagerly throughout the Mass, but as time to receive Holy Communion approached, I was sad. God hadn't answered my prayer and confirmed the sign. After Communion, there was no song. Instead, the sisters prayed the Communion Antiphon: "One thing I ask of the Lord, to dwell in His house all days of my life." I heard God's voice of confirmation. He did call me to be a religious sister.
However, “God is never outdone in generosity." He knows me and how stubborn I am to believe. He wasn't done proving His point. After work, I went to pick up the rose bouquet. When it was brought out, I couldn't believe my eyes. There were three white roses, three red roses, and three white roses tinged with red. The florist didn't have any pink roses on hand and had made a substitution. She apologized emphatically and probably misunderstood the tears in my eyes. God had used her to verify that the answer to my request to know His will had indeed come through the rosary novena. I took the finished bouquet to my parish church, placed it before the statue of Mary and finished the 54th Rosary with heartfelt gratitude. I knew my vocation beyond the shadow of a doubt!
The rest of the story is obvious. I called my community and requested to apply. They accepted me and I entered. In the years that have passed, I've had some tough times as all people do. However, I have never doubted in the depths of my heart that God is calling me to be a religious sister. I am grateful to Him for this calling and pray that I may worthily live in His house all the days of my life.
