By Sr. Carol Hohmeier
Marian Sisters of the Diocese of Lincoln
“Can we do this again tomorrow?” One of the little boys quipped this request after we just cleaned up from hosting a meal for the women and children at St. Gianna’s. Despite the amount of work that goes into these gatherings, they are a true source of joy for all involved. I, along with two fellow Marian Sisters, serve at St. Gianna’s Program, where we assist women and their families fleeing domestic violence or who are being coerced into having an abortion.
As our nation winds down from our recent Labor Day activities, I take time to pause and reflect upon my own labors, and those of my two fellow Sisters, at St. Gianna’s. You may ask, “How can consecrated religious, women who have never been married or have children or have never been involved in an act of domestic violence or have never been pressured to end the life of the baby in her womb, ever relate to the women here?” The answer is—we don’t—and we don’t need to! Our role is not to relate, rather it is to listen without judgment; we let the women know that we hear them and validate their feelings. We have discovered that the simple gesture of listening has become a lost art. So, when the women first arrive, we simply listen.
Some of the women have experienced much trauma and pain. What they really want and what is most comforting is when someone lets them talk and cry. When they are hurting, they don’t need answers, they need to know that they are not alone. They may need a shoulder to lean on, a hand to hold or space to just let them be.
Next, we offer a safe place. We let the women share their struggles with us and we treat them with respect and care. Thus, we provide a haven where we do not condemn or criticize, and we keep whatever is shared confidential.
Finally, we do not try to fix them. This can be hard, especially since we are removed from the situation and can see it more clearly than they can. However, we give the women more dignity when we trust them to figure out their own issues with help from God. What we do is offer encouragement and reflective listening.
Discouragement, disappointment, despair are all too familiar to these women; thus, a part of our labor is to help them reclaim their sense of hope. Once they regain hope, they soon realize that everything else falls into place, and they can once again see their goodness, beauty and dignity. The healing process is a journey, and each woman’s journey is a part of her story and is totally unique to her.
Once the woman has started the healing process, our labor takes on a slightly different twist. We continue to meet with the women on a weekly basis and offer them emotional, spiritual, and physical support. The women write up goals that they wish to accomplish while they are in the program, and we support them with this process.
Oftentimes, we are the first religious sister these women or children have ever encountered. This makes for some interesting reactions and comments. One woman told us, “I know you live in that covenant.” We thought for a moment and realized that she meant a “convent”! Another lady asked me, “How long have you been in that nunnery?” One of the children, a girl about 7 years old, while helping with her laundry, put a pair of jeans on her head and said, “See, I look just like you with that thing on your head!”
Our spiritual support is also a vital part of our work. Prayer is woven into our schedules because it is such a vital element of our lives. Our prayer becomes a labor of love as we seek to surround our home with peace and tranquility. Only Jesus can heal these women and children who have experienced much trauma and suffering, so we encourage them to pray in the chapel and to develop a relationship with their Heavenly Father as they journey through the healing process.
Laying the foundation upon prayer gives us the impetus to perform the countless manual labors that await us: from light cleaning such as vacuuming the halls and washing windows, to deep-cleaning apartments. Volunteers are vital in assisting us with the physical labors of cleaning, organizing, re-stocking, shopping, caregiving and answering the phone and the doorbell.
While our labors are time-consuming and necessary, we find great joy in serving God and our neighbors in these varied ways. Needless to say, we did not have another Labor Day meal for the women and children the next day... that will have to wait until another holiday!
