By Sr. Regina Marie, C.K.
School Sisters of Christ the King
After a long Lenten journey, the beautiful, grace-filled season of Easter is finally here! I know I need Lent so that I may know with greater clarity the places in my life where I have come to depend more upon myself and less upon Jesus, but I am always grateful when the “alleluias,” flowers and celebrations return!
As we begin these 50 days of Easter joy, I find myself asking, “How do I reconcile the real presence of the cross in my life and in the lives of those I love with this time of rejoicing?” Even during these Octave days, I have a friend who is struggling with ongoing health issues that seem to be beyond her control, a Sister in my community is gathering with her family to bury her last grandparent, the universal Church is mourning the loss of Pope Francis, and I myself am dealing with chronic pain that seems like it will never be resolved. Where are the Easter celebrations in all this suffering?
About seven years ago, I began having unexplained pain radiating around my side following the path of one of my ribs. Numerous visits to doctors, different medications and various consultations led to very few answers. As we neared Holy Week of that year, I was weary and discouraged. Since sitting is the thing that aggravates my pain the most, the multiple lengthy liturgies of the Triduum were a major endurance test for me.
I can vividly remember standing in the back of our chapel during one of the readings of the Easter Vigil and looking up at the sanctuary, with all its Easter lilies and beautiful decorations, and suddenly being struck by the presence of the crucifix right in the middle of it all. Although it is difficult to describe, it was as if God the Father was showing me, “Yes, even amid the beauty of this night, my Son’s cross is still present and He is present with you now, too.” I was moved to tears as the answer to the question of my heart—a question that is so often on our lips as we suffer—“Why, Lord?” was answered.
It wasn’t the answer to “Why is this happening to me?” but rather to the question, “Why do I feel so alone and frustrated on such a joyous night?” His presence was the answer! The Lord has continued to open my heart to the reality that this is the message of Easter: He is risen... He did not leave us orphans! As the days of Easter begin, we hear repeatedly of all the ways that Jesus showed Himself to the apostles, and his resounding message is “Peace be with you!”
One of my favorite Easter stories is the story of the disciples and Jesus on the road to Emmaus (Lk. 24:13-35). It always boggles my mind that the disciples walked with Jesus for several miles, listened to Him explain all the Old Testament scriptures that pointed to His suffering and resurrection, but did not recognize Him until He broke bread with them once they arrived in Emmaus!
As the grace of that Easter Vigil night continued to grow in the following days, my eyes were opened to see how He manifests His presence to me, especially when the suffering in my own life feels most intense. The strength of the lie “I am all alone in this” began to weaken as I saw more clearly how He was providing for me and ministering to me through those who love me and were caring for me. Yes, the suffering of the crosses of life is very real, but the presence of Jesus in our suffering is even more real and even more powerful.
As we recall our Lord’s triumph over sin and death during this Easter season, let us also remember and call upon the real grace He won for us and the gift of His presence with us amid the joys and sorrows of life until we are united with Him in eternity.
