by Katie Patrick
On Wednesday, Nov. 24, my husband and I welcomed into the world our twin daughters, Keira Josephine and Saoirse Louise Patrick. I’m embarrassed to report now that having been told by my doctor earlier that morning that they could arrive that same day, I left the doctor’s office and went straight to CSS to finalize my departure: sending last-minute emails, making phone calls, reviewing grant applications, touching base with my boss and with my staff, and sending thank-you notes. All worthwhile tasks, but now that I look back it’s a reminder of how consumed with control we humans can be in the face of the unknown. How we revert to turning ever so quickly to what we have control over, learning that all too soon we have control over very little. And boy is that the truth.
It felt like a matter of minutes from when I was counting contractions to hearing my husband’s voice alongside a room full of others telling me to push that I was holding our two daughters in my arms. Keira, born first, was smaller and seemed a bit put out at having been taken too soon from the womb, while her sister Saoirse, weighing slightly more at 4 lbs. 13 ounces, was as alert as ever, already scanning the operating room with her big eyes. So it was from the moment they were born that their unique personalities and cuteness have had us endlessly marveling at them. 
But sure enough, one month into parenthood, my husband and I are not in control. Collectively weighing less than 15 pounds, these precious gifts from God tell us when they eat, sleep, cry, and are content. As first-time parents, we are learning, growing, leaning on family and friends, and trusting in God that all will be well. A task not so easily achieved at 2 a.m. when we’re passing bottles, babies, and burp cloths back and forth.
This desire but inability to control one’s own day is something that most of us can resonate with. In fact, I think about it often from the perspective of our clients. The women at St. Gianna Women’s Homes can no sooner control who they love than they can control the temper of the recipient of their love. The families who receive temporary cash assistance for rent or utilities seldom have control over the number of work hours they are scheduled or the sustainability of their employer, especially in light of COVID, and perhaps most profoundly, the refugee.
The hundreds of families CSS has welcomed and served over the years, including most recently the families from Afghanistan, live lives presently fraught with uncertainty, a lack of familiarity, and fear. There is uncertainty in their living arrangements and employment prospects. A lack of familiarity abounds in basic daily tasks of grocery shopping, meal preparation, and school classrooms. And there is the constant fear of not knowing if their family members and friends back home are alive or dead, the guilt that comes with having escaped the Taliban, and the paralyzing fear of not being able to help loved ones get out.
We, at Catholic Social Services of Southern Nebraska, are blessed to be able to accompany and support refugee families as they experience these uncertain times. None of us like to admit that we want to or have to be in control, but as we all know, there are times when we have to let go and put our faith and trust in those around us and in God. We are grateful for the generosity of donors, like you, who provide us with your time, talent, and treasure so that we can be present to meet the needs of those refugees, and all our clients, who have turned to us in their moments of greatest need. In fact, as much as we try, we can’t even control what resources we are able to offer—that comes down to you. The support you provide is what allows us to support the people we serve. With this support, we are able to hand back just a little bit of control back to the lives of the people who rely so heavily on us. That’s what we—and you—control.
