by Katie Patrick
Jesus ministered in all kinds of ways, even when those he ministered to did not want to be ministered to at all – much like mothers ministering to their children.
Before you become a mom, you might dream of what it will be like. You spend time wondering what their hobbies will be and who their friends will be. You are convinced they will cherish all the wisdom and advice that you plan to share, and you pray fervently that they stay close to God. So imagine the surprise when your children become teenagers and have no intention of listening to you at all. That was me for most of junior high, high school, and early college.
As a teenager, I often had no intention of being ministered to by the wisdom of my mother. One experience in particular was the ACT test. No doubt many of you have supported your own children during their junior year of high school by getting them to prep classes and purchasing study materials.
In the weeks leading up to the ACT, I refused to study. My mom would kindly ask me each day if I studied. On other days, she would ask who else was taking the test from my class, and say what a good idea it would be if we studied together. And on some days, she would offer to study with me. But, as gentle as her requests were, I had no interest in preparing for a standardized test that supposedly would tell me how smart I was, or determine my eligibility for certain schools.
I have to admit that school came fairly easily to me. I worked hard, of course, and studied for tests. I enjoyed researching, writing papers, and group projects. And for as long as I can remember, my mom was by my side. She would help me, especially in junior high, with my social studies papers—back when our research required actual books from the library and the set of encyclopedias we had at the house. I remember choosing to write one paper on Jackie Kennedy, knowing how much my mom admired her. Those were good memories!
My mom has been incredibly instrumental for all of us kids, not only by guiding and helping us with our projects, but by encouraging us along the way. So, you can imagine what a letdown it was for her to see me be so stubborn about this ACT test.
The testing day came, and I slept in. In fact, I had friends who stayed over the night before, or maybe I stayed at their house, I can’t remember exactly. But anyway, I was late, and tired, and my parents were not happy. My dad drove me to East High and dropped me off—and the story actually gets worse.
I walked into the school, checked in, and headed to my assigned classroom. We were given the testing booklet, answer sheet, and a No. 2 pencil. The instructor then had us complete three simulated test questions. I did these just fine, but was already distracted and annoyed that I was having to take the ACT. The test began and we completed a few sections. Then, I asked for a bathroom pass and casually walked the halls for about 15 minutes, coming back in time for one section to finish where roughly 30 of the questions I left unanswered. How terrible. A few weeks later my results came back, and let’s just say that I didn’t get into the university based on my ACT score.
In this example, even though I didn’t accept her ministering, my mother supported me in all kinds of ways. As her children, our dreams and academic interests are just as much hers as they are ours. Not because she wanted to study political science like I did, or nursing or teaching like my sisters, and certainly not philosophy like my brother, but it was her dream to love and support each of her children in their own interests. She ministered to me in ways that at the time I did not acknowledge, accept or appreciate, but that didn’t stop her then, nor did it deter from ministering in more ways down the road.
For as long as I can remember, my mom has had one saying above all others, that is, to be a friend to everyone. I don’t remember the first time she said those words, but it has impacted my life in ways I don’t even keep track of anymore. Honestly, in every difficult encounter or relationship, I hear her voice in my head, saying, “be a friend to everyone.”
It’s just another way to say, “love thy neighbor as thyself,” and I took it to heart. Was I successful every time? Absolutely not. Do I still struggle being a friend to everyone? Of course I do. But more often than not, especially when I am frustrated, or if there’s a difficult situation, I take a deep breath and think about those words. Ministering as a mother to one’s children comes in all kinds of ways. It comes in the form of encouragement, and it comes in the form of wisdom, kindness, compassion, patience and much more.
Imitating Christ by ministering to others, including your children, in all kinds of ways, is motherhood. Moms have many to-do lists and being Martha—as I mentioned in the first column in this series—comes with the territory. So, for the Marthas within us, let us not shy away from “Kitchen service” but renew ourselves in the joy of serving.
As our Lord says in the Gospel, “Martha, you are distracted in service and anxious by many things.” Let us not allow those distractions to define our service, but rather let us continue serving and ministering joyfully to those around us as we go on our way like Albert (from Part One in this series), as we go out of our way like the Canossian Sisters (Part Two), and in all kinds of ways as our mothers. Merry Christmas and may God bless you!
