by Katie Patrick
About four years ago, my husband and I accompanied a young woman, “Rose,” to the custody exchange site in Lincoln so that she could safely connect with her ex-husband to exchange the kids for the weekend. The custody exchange location in Lincoln is near the Lincoln Police Department on 27th Street and provides families the opportunity to meet publicly, in a monitored place. There were a few other cars and families coming and going while we waited.
Rose was terribly nervous and anxious, but tried to stay calm for her children, who were also dreading the weekend ahead. The divorce was not yet final and neither was the custody arrangement, so for the time being, Dad had the children every other weekend. Rose kept copious notes for her attorney of what her daughter told her about the visits, in hopes of receiving full custody.
On that Friday, Rose had asked me to accompany her because she was afraid of her husband and her mother-in-law—who usually accompanied him and often took care of the children. I brought my husband along because, to be honest, having heard stories of his abuse from Rose, her husband frightened me, too.
Rose had been a resident at the St. Gianna Home for several months. She came to us as a referral from her neighbor who was aware the husband wasn’t treating her well. Rose had endured nearly five years of intimidation, infidelity, manipulation, and physical abuse. However, it wasn’t until her husband began to verbally and physically abuse their children that she decided enough was enough, and chose to leave. As a devout Catholic, it was not an easy decision to make, but her hopes of him changing his ways no longer seemed possible.
During her stay at the St. Gianna Home in Lincoln, Rose spent a great deal of time at our Chapel and met with Sister Karen Eden and Veronica Hotovy, St. Gianna program manager, for prayer. Rose remained incredibly focused on her two children and did everything she could to provide for them and to gain full custody. She worked multiple jobs, attended night classes, and took advantage of every opportunity to participate in CSS programming, especially Bible studies, at the St. Gianna Home.
After her one-year stay with us, she was able to secure almost full custody of her children and returned to North Carolina to live close to her parents, sister, and other family members. While she struggled with coming to terms that her ex-husband was abusive and manipulative, she never stopped praying for the strength to move on.
She didn’t move on, however, from CSS. Veronica shared with me that she recently connected over the phone with Rose and was able to pray with her. Prayer has been so instrumental in her healing, as it is for many women who come through our program.
Not long after that phone call, we received a $100 check in the mail from Rose. Knowing that she is a single mom living paycheck to paycheck, but still found room in her budget to support Catholic Social Services, reminds me of what it means to give sacrificially. There are so many “Roses” out there who humble us daily by giving whatever they are financially able to give so that women and families going through similar experiences can be helped.
In this season of giving, where God gave His Son as the greatest gift of all, and we read about wise men traveling great distances to present gifts, and we spend so much time dreaming of the perfect presents to put under the tree for those we love, please consider, as always, helping to provide a gift to those served at CSS, so that we can continue to support those who often don’t have the means to even feed themselves, and ensure that we can continue to hear from others like Rose, who were helped here at home, and lifted up to a point where they can give back.
