By Fr. Evan Winter
Hispanic Ministry
Pastor, St. John in Minden and Holy Family in Heartwell
When something really important happens, we celebrate! Birthdays, baptisms and marriages aren’t just chances to have fun, but times to show what’s important by having a fiesta! But … when your friends with Spanish as their first language invite you to something, it can be intimidating. Never fear! Here’s your guide to Surviving Hispanic Parties!
General Principles
1. “Padrinos,” godparents, are an important part of life events, not just baptism and Confirmation, but a custom that existed even in pre-Christian Mexico. It is a great honor! Don’t be afraid to ask the family what is expected of you. The family might want rather specific gifts, or even help for the party.
2. If you are not a padrino, it is OK to miss the event, but go to the party. You won’t be the only one! Not everyone is able to get off work, but they all want to do their part to help the family celebrate.
3. If you’re sensitive to spice, don’t worry! Foods served at these parties will be mild. The sauces, however, could be very hot, but are served on the side. Taste the sauce; use a little if it’s too hot.
4. Expect VERY loud music. Don’t worry if conversation doesn’t flow well. The partygoers are still enjoying themselves.
Specific events: Baptism
If you are a godparent, you might be expected to buy a Bible, a rosary, a fancy candle, and a large shell (“concha”) for pouring water. These can often be purchased as a set.
Presentation at 40 days / 3 years
These blessings commemorate babies reaching 40 days / 3 years. They take place in church, and commemorate the presentation of Jesus at 40 days old, and the presentation of Mary at 3 years old.
First Communion
If asked to be a “padrino” for first Communion, you may come up with the child and stand behind them as they receive Communion. The family might have specific gifts in mind.
Confirmation
It’s common to have two godparents, so don’t be surprised if there’s another adult next to you when the child is confirmed.
Quinceañera
This elaborate party given in honor of a girl turning 15 is like a debutante ball. After dressing up, the girl goes to church, where she makes promises to God and receives a blessing. The party follows. The girl is given ritual gifts symbolizing womanhood, gives away a doll to a younger girl, dances with her father, then another boy for the first “official” time, then, occasionally, a group. There are lots of “padrinos,” and they are often expected to bring very specific gifts! If you are one of the girl’s peers, she might ask you to be in her “court”: young men and women who accompany her to church and might engage in a rehearsed dance.
Wedding
Much will be familiar: the Mass, the vows, the party, dances with the married couple and their parents. The wedding Mass often includes two additional rituals. The “arras” are a set of ornamental coins that are blessed by the priest right after the rings and then exchanged by the couple. The “lazo” is a double-looped rosary that is draped over the couple during the nuptial blessing. Both have their own “padrinos,” and the “padrinos de lazo” are often the two official witnesses of the wedding. Don’t expect to sign the marriage license! It is far more common to get married at the courthouse before the church, as the law in Latin America requires.
Funeral
It’s common for people to be in church all night before the funeral Mass, and visitors come during the whole night and into the morning. The music at the funeral Mass might sound rather energetic. It’s still sad, though. Some families are very quiet at funerals, while others might wail loudly. It’s not as common to have lunch after the funeral, but there might be pastries. People tend to be quiet. They’re happy you’re there, even if you don’t know what to say. Pious families will also do a novena of nine days of rosaries for the soul of their deceased loved ones, and these can also be big events.
Finally, if you already know this, great! Now, invite new people to your parties!
