by Fr. Justin Fulton
Vicar General
Christ Speaks: “My mother sees me whipped. She sees me kicked and driven like a beast. She counts my every wound. But though her soul cries out in agony, no protest or complaint escapes her lips or even enters her thoughts. She shares my martyrdom. And I share hers. We hide no pain, no sorrow, from each other’s eyes. This is my Father’s will.”
I reply: “My Jesus, Lord. I know what you are telling me. To watch the pain of those we love is harder than to bear our own. To carry my cross after you, I, too, must stand and watch the sufferings of my dear ones—the heartaches, sicknesses, and grief of those I love. And I must let them watch mine, too. I do believe—for those who love you all things work together unto good.”
- From Everyone’s Way of the Cross by Clarence Enzler, 2004, Ave Maria Press, Notre Dame, Ind.
Greetings, my friends. The last time I had the opportunity to write this column, we discussed infertility, miscarriage, and the suffering that surrounds those circumstances in relation to Matthew 4. Today, I share with you this beautiful reflection on the Fourth Station of the Cross, Jesus Meets His Mother.
Can you relate to this passage? I think you can. I know you can. Perhaps you have a spouse suffering with dementia who can no longer take care of himself. Perhaps you have a parent, who was once superior in physical statute and mental acuity, declining to the point where she can no longer feed herself or even know who you are anymore.
Perhaps you wince when your child falls as they learn how to ride a bike. Perhaps you have a child who struggles at school and can’t seem to make a lot of friends. Perhaps you have had loved ones try and try to conceive, to later find out that a baby was not part of God’s plan for them.
All of us can relate to the above passage. Sometimes there are no words. Sometimes the only thing we can do is share in one’s agony and simply witness the suffering and be present to them. And in that presence we find out that love indeed hurts, love indeed is a sacrifice, love is a crown of thorns, and indeed love is the Cross. To watch a loved one suffer and not be able to assist, help, console, or alleviate the pain is oftentimes harder to bear than the actual suffering itself.
At these times, we have this incredible gift of the Fourth Station of the Cross to reflect upon. At these times, we have the inestimable gift of our Blessed Mother Mary to talk with in prayer, solitude, and solidarity. Can you imagine the torment she felt? The love that she had for her Son and not having the ability to do anything for Him other than be with Him? Perhaps that was the best remedy she could give... simply to be with Him and share some of His suffering internally.
Mary can teach us a lot about being present to and absorbing the shared suffering of loved ones. In her “helplessness” she was given the grace of strength, dignity, and grit as she shared in the salvation that her Son was purchasing for all of us. May we turn to her when we feel “helpless” and beg her to be present to us, and to ask her Son Jesus for the same graces given to her in that moment.
Our Blessed Mother... We fly to her protection for she is our life, our sweetness, and our hope.
Thank you for turning to our Blessed Mother Mary, who will bring you to her Son, Jesus.
God bless your Holy Week, and God bless you.
