By Rachael Tvrdy
Director of Family Life and Discipleship
Not too long ago, it was a common understanding that families needed the support of other families to survive. In the days of the pioneers, homesteaders would travel in wagons with other families, knowing they couldn’t settle in the new world unless they had neighboring families to offer protection and help.
Why is it that now, in 2025, we think we are so far removed from our ancestors that we can “do it all” on our own? I venture to say it is the culprit of many factors, such as technology, a hyper-individualistic culture, and the constant mobilization of younger generations, to name a few.
Even in parish life, it can be rare to see parishioners stewarding together in collective effort to share time, talent, and treasure. What if—just what if—we had a team mentality in our parishes? Some dioceses are doing it out of sheer necessity due to the priest shortage. We are seeing “Families of Parishes,” such as in the Archdiocese of Omaha, where neighboring pastors and parish leaders are rolling up their sleeves together, forming masterminds of collective leadership to solve big problems. To work together toward a major goal with a nearby parish, with one that may be richer in financial resources or vision, could be a gamechanger.
That’s what I see in rural areas. It’s almost innate in farming communities to see neighboring families come together and help each other, such as during branding or harvest. A task that is that plenty cannot be done alone, and so they need many hands to achieve it. A memory comes to mind of just a few months ago. I went to observe a branding at a dear friend’s family ranch who have more than 500 cattle.
I asked my friend’s family: “So, do all these neighbors who come out for the day to help with branding; do you pay them? How do you get them all to help?” A naive question from a city girl who knows very little about rural life. How do you coax people to give up their Saturday to help brand their neighbor’s cattle?
And they just softly laughed and said, “No, we all just help each other. It’s a lot of work – so we all pitch in. Nobody needs to be paid and nobody is ‘too busy.’”
I realized I was glimpsing the last remnant of America right there—the “village mentality” was still alive and well in the Sandhills. Maybe that’s why Jesus knew to use the harvest analogy with the Israelites, because He knew they, as rural folks themselves, would innately get it: “The harvest is plenty, but the laborers are few.”
Over the last two months, I’ve been hosting a series of workshops with parishes on the new marriage catechumenate guidelines from the Vatican. The workshop is an attempt to re-create the “parish family mentality” I experienced in Omaha. I hosted it at a series of parishes and the seminary, and we brought together “parish teams” (clergy plus married couples who are involved in marriage preparation and evangelization in a parish) to brainstorm how they can work together to welcome newlyweds and renew marriages in their parish. The vision of the marriage catechumenate is largely about mentoring and accompaniment (the village mentality), where couples need a system of support before and after the wedding day.
We assembled a panel of speakers who have piloted this process already (Lincoln parishes including St. Michael, Cristo Rey, the Newman Center, St. Patrick, as well as St. John the Baptist in Minden, St. Mary in Orleans, and St. Peter and St. Joseph in Bellwood; St. Michael in Hastings is coming up). Each testimony was so encouraging and inspiring. The overwhelming message was that pastors can’t do it alone, and married couples are receiving renewal and joy in their own marriages by mentoring younger generations. And younger generations are rooting themselves in parishes in which they feel supported.
We also had time for sharing at the end, during which members of each parish team stood up and shared the “one thing” they would do moving forward to get started. Slowly but surely, parishes can and are bringing back the village mentality in our diocese. And what greater place to “pioneer” a new effort than Nebraska?
