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(SNR) - To help people prepare for a holy season of Lent (Ash Wednesday is Feb. 26), Father Andrew Heaslip answered some commonly-asked questions about the sacrament of confession.
Q. I’m scared of going to confession; isn’t everyone? Do we really need to go?
A. Confession is a sacrament of healing, and God’s healing mercy is awesome and nothing to fear.
Because this sacrament gives us the mercy of Jesus Christ, it gives us something we need and should deeply desire. The more a person longs for the mercy of God and the more he or she experiences it in the sacrament of reconciliation, the less fear he or she will have in going to confession.
In regard to sin, confession is the ordinary way for mortal sins to be forgiven, and a particularly powerful way for overcoming venial sins. We certainty need to go to confession for the forgiveness of mortal sins; in fact, Catholics are required to make their “Easter Duty” which includes, as a minimum standard, that they confess their serious sins at least once a year. A far better practice recommended by saints, sinners, and confessors alike is going to confession at least once a month, or after committing a mortal sin.
Q. Are you sure the priest won’t think I’m awful?
A. In Luke’s Gospel Jesus says, “I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.”
Priests who extend the mercy of God in confession realize this, and rejoice deeply when a child of God returns to his or her Heavenly Father. Regular confessors are also familiar with the extent of human sinfulness, and so should not be shocked or scornful because someone brings his or her sins forward.
Q. But what if my sins are worse than everyone else’s? And what if I haven’t gone in a really long time?
A. At times, a healthy conscience will experience the intensity of one’s own sin. This can give the feeling that one’s sins are worse than others’, because we see our sins from the inside. Nevertheless, we are all sinners, and confession is meant for everybody’s personal sins whether there is an intense feeling that accompanies them or a simple recognition that one needs forgiveness.
If someone hasn’t gone to confession in a really long time, the season of Lent, which is a grace for the whole Church and all Christians, is an excellent time to return and begin anew with the practice of regular confession. If someone hasn’t been in years, and has forgotten how, simply let the priest in the confessional know and he will guide you through the sacrament.
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Q. Exactly how much do I have to describe or spell out?
A. To receive the sacrament of confession fruitfully, a person needs to confess all his or her mortal sins in kind and number, meaning: what the sin was and how often it happened—that’s it. For example, “I omitted going to Mass on Sunday, twice.” There are occasions where important circumstances need to be shared because they change the kind of sin it was, nevertheless, there is no need to give a detailed description of the experience.
Q. But how do I know if a sin is a venial or mortal one?
A. A mortal sin occurs if there is grave matter, full knowledge, and deliberate consent. A simple way to say this is that a mortal sin has to be serious, a person has to know it’s serious, and he or she has to freely choose to do it anyway. If a sin is not grave matter, or is not fully known, or not deliberately chosen, it is a venial sin.
Q. What if I forget to confess something and remember later?
A. If someone forgets to confess a mortal sin, that is, really doesn’t recall it during his or her confession, the sin is still forgiven; however, the person needs to mention it in his or her next confession. In this case, one would simply say, “I did not remember to confess in my last confession that I....”
On the other hand, if someone were to intentionally withhold a mortal sin in the sacrament of reconciliation and knew that he or she needed to confess it, it would be as though one were trying to hide from the mercy of God and thus his or her sins would not be forgiven. If a person finds himself is in this situation, it is very important to realize that God desires to remove our shame and our guilt through his mercy, which is abundantly given in the sacrament of confession.
Q. Once I went to confession and the priest told me to pray the Act of Contrition after I left – is that okay?
A. In ordinary circumstances, the penitent would pray the Act of Contrition after receiving of the penance and before receiving absolution. However, there are a number of pastoral circumstances, for example a large number of people receiving confession, where the Act of Contrition could be moved before or after the confession.
Further, the Act of Contrition is a verbal expression of one’s contrition of heart; the words of the prayer and when it is said can be modified but it is still essential for a good confession that one has contrition, that is, sorrow for his or her sins.
Q. What if I don’t know how to do the penance the priest gives me – if I don’t know that prayer?
A. Don’t be afraid to say that to the priest when he gives the penance—he could give you a different penance or instruct you where to find the prayers he assigned.
Q. What if I did my penance but I still feel bad about what I did? Should I go to confession again or do my penance again?
A. To answer this question it is important to make the distinction between forgiveness and purification.
First, when a person confesses his or her sins with contrition (motivated by the love of God) or even attrition (motivated by the fear of hell or the ugliness of sin), both of which include the firm resolve not to commit them again, and receives absolution from a priest, that person is forgiven—period.
Second, purification and healing from one’s past sins or one’s specific tendencies to sin is more complicated. After a person’s good confession which ordinarily brings peace, it can happen that one feels a certain unease or anxiety because he or she realizes that purification is still needed or that temptation will come in the future both of which will be difficult.
If one begins to rely on himself to be purified and healed, or on his own strength to avoid sin, the fear and anxiety typically will increase and the person will feel even worse. In this case, what is needed is not a repetition of confessing the same sin or repeating again the same penance, but rather greater faith and trust in the mercy and redeeming power of Jesus. Faith and trust grow over time, and as they grow, so does our peace.
On the other hand, there can be a number of moral and spiritual struggles surrounding this point, such as scruples, psychological wounds, addictions, believing lies about oneself or God, spiritual strongholds from the enemy, etc. In these cases, it may be fitting to seek additional help from a priest, a spiritual director, a counselor, a support group such as Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, or Sexaholics Anonymous, a deliverance ministry such as Unbound, or a healing ministry such as the Lincoln Equipping Team.
Q. Do I have to confess to a priest, and not just alone in prayer to God?
A. A priest is a minister of God who stands in the person of Christ. Part of the reason Jesus instituted the priesthood was to concretely extend his mercy to his flock.
Jesus said to his Apostles, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven...” Hence, every time a person goes to a priest in the sacrament of confession, he or she is fundamentally also approaching Jesus, who is present in his body, the Church and in the Church’s minister, the priest.
Moreover, reconciliation is always, simultaneously with Christ and with his Church, and priests are ordained ministers of this reconciliation. In practice this means that all mortal sins need to be confessed to a priest in the context of confession; it is also very helpful though for a person to confess his or her venial sins since there is a particular grace given for overcoming them in the sacrament of confession.
Nevertheless, there are numerous ways that we can receive God’s forgiveness for our venial sins. For example, St. Augustine highlights that devoutly saying an “Our Father” forgives smaller faults. Likewise, at the beginning of Mass during the Penitential Rite, the faithful recall their venial sins with sorrow, and they are forgiven. When one prays an Act of Contrition with repentance, say, at the end of the day, his or her venial sins are taken away.
Q. Has confession always been done like this where you have to tell a priest?
A. Simply put, yes. Yet to better answer this question it is important to have an historical sketch of the practice of confession in the early centuries of the Church.
In the Gospel of John when Jesus institutes the sacrament of reconciliation he says to his apostles, “If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.” Implicit in this statement is that the apostles would have to know what the sins are and whether one is repentant in order to make the decision to forgive the sin or retain it. Hence, even in the first century, at the Church’s very beginning there was the provision of confessing one’s sins to those appointed by Christ.
Likewise, there are references in a work called The Shepherd of Hermas (ca. second century), in Tertullian (d. 220 AD), and in Origen of Alexandria (d. 253 AD) that shed further light on the sacrament of confession in the early Church. While the specific practices in these sources vary, (e.g., regarding the frequency of reconciliation, its public or private character, and the order of what a penitent did to be reconciled), they are unanimous in witnessing to the practice of a post-baptismal penance for the forgiveness of serious sins. Hermas, for example, indicates that forgiveness for grave sins after baptism can occur only once in a Christian’s life. Tertullian witnesses to the practice of carrying out penance publically as well as to a different order of reconciliation, namely, (1) a confession of serious sin (typically in private to the bishop or priest), (2) a public period of penance, and (3) official reconciliation.
Origen, however, shows that there was another form of reconciliation that was private and more frequent; it involved (1) a private confession, (2) personal penance that was not public, and (3) a priestly prayer. It was not until around the seventh century, especially with the influence of the Celtic missionaries, that the public dimension of penance began to fade in favor of the private practice similar to what Origen described. Hence, the practice “where you have to tell a priest” was definitely present in the early church.
Q. What is a good way to pray so I’m better prepared for confession next time?
A. A good way to pray in preparation for confession is through an examination of conscience. During this time one can consider their thoughts, words, and deeds in view of the Ten Commandments, or the Beatitudes, or the theological and moral virtues, or one’s vocation and station in life, etc.
Through this practice one can see where they have sinned and missed the mark of God’s call to holiness and so make an honest confession.
