by Father Joseph Bernardo,
Chaplain, Pius X High School in Lincoln
“Go in peace.”
Did you ever spend time reflecting on these finals words that the priest imparts to you as you finish your confession? What a wonderful blessing as you leave the confession, the assurance that although you came into the confessional laden with your sins, you depart with the peace that comes from having your heart in union with the heart of our Lord once again because your sins are forgiven. This is a fruit of a worthy confession!
Father Jacques Philippe, in his book “Searching for and Maintaining Peace” uses a beautiful analogy to describe this peace. He says, “Consider the surface of a lake, above which the sun is shining. If the surface of the lake is peaceful and tranquil, the sun will be reflected in this lake; and the more peaceful the lake, the more perfectly will it be reflected. If, on the contrary, the surface of the lake is agitated, undulating, then the image of the sun cannot be reflected in it. It is a little bit like this with regard to our soul in relationship to God. The more our soul is peaceful and tranquil, the more God is reflected in it, the more His image expresses itself in us, the more His grace acts through us.” When we leave confession our hearts are at peace because it is united once again with Christ’s heart and we reflect that image of Him more clearly in our soul.
Along with the forgiveness of our sins, this peace should be a reason that we would run to confession. Our hearts want peace, our hearts seek out peace!
Peace from the harsh words and actions of others; peace from the conflicts in our hearts; peace from the attacks of the evil one.
Although we long for this peace, it is not always easy to go to confession, maybe because of fear from a past experience in the confessional, or an inability to actually go to confession, or a shame that has cast a shadow over our hearts. These are real blocks to confession—however, they are blocks that can be lifted.
A priest is human and so just like any other person, he has bad days, he gets distracted, he is pressed for time, he misunderstands you and he has his own personality. These can lead to one having a bad experience in the confessional and that experience can create a fear of going again. If you had a bad experience in confession, I am truly sorry, and I pray it is encouraging to know that as long as the priest said the words of absolution, your sins were forgiven!
Our faith tells us that when we go to confession we are confessing to God Himself through the priest, and thanks be to God that He has shared this priesthood with thousands of men. I pray that you will give yourself another chance to go to confession with another priest and even to begin by letting him know your fear so that he can help ease your heart back into the sacrament.
There may be occasions when you want to go to confession but it is impossible because you cannot drive or even if you could, there is no priest available. Even during this time of pandemic an unfortunate effect is that some churches have “closed” the confessional doors, or there is a fear of contracting the virus by being around others. When you find yourself in this predicament, the Church teaches us in the Catechism (paragraph 1452) that we can make a “perfect contrition” which is sorrow for one’s sins that “arises from a love by which God is loved above all else.”
This is distinguished from an imperfect contrition which arises from a fear of the punishment for our sins. When one cannot make it to sacramental confession, perfect contrition does forgive venial sins and also forgives mortal sins if there is also “the firm resolution to have recourse to sacramental confession as soon as possible.” If you cannot make sacramental confession, have a heart that loves God above all else and commit yourself to go to sacramental confession as soon as you can; this can bring peace because it does forgive mortal sins.
One of the biggest reasons I believe some may stay away from confession is shame. Shame because my sin is “too big”; shame because I confess the same sin over and over again; shame that I have not been in a long time, or even that I confessed just a short time ago.
The difference between guilt and shame is that guilt says, “I’m sorry and I will do better” but shame says, “I’m not good enough.” We should feel guilt for our sins because they have offended our Lord and hurt others and ourselves. However, before God there is no shame because it is the opposite of the reality, you are good enough for the Lord and you only have to look to the Cross of Christ. You are worthy enough for Him to die for you and so there is never a time that you are not good enough for Him.
If you believe your sin is “too big,” our Lord said to St. Faustina, “The greater the sinner, the greater the right he has to My mercy.” (Diary 723)
If you are disheartened that you keep committing the same sin over, the good from this is you know where to focus your efforts. If you are embarrassed that you have not been to confession in a long time, know that from a priest’s point of view, we rejoice to have helped a son or daughter back to their Father.
If you are embarrassed that you had just recently gone to confession, this is what the Church intends, as you are invited to receive this sacrament over and over again.
If there is something that is keeping you from confession, I pray that the Lord will bestow His grace on you to remove that block. And when you do go to confession listen for these amazing words at the end, “The Lord has freed you from your sins. Go in peace.”
