by Sister Mary Guadalupe, C.K.
My journey to religious life was not always a direct path. I loved my Catholic faith, but also loved playing sports, studying and spending time with my family, and I imagined having my own family when I grew up.
As an ambitious 5-year-old, I told my parents that I was going to play baseball for the Chicago White Sox. This love for sports only increased as I grew older and got involved in basketball, soccer, track and softball. Even though I quickly realized that Major League Baseball was not in my future, I set my sights on playing softball in the Olympics.
I attended St. Mary Parish in downtown Lincoln where I first encountered the School Sisters of the Christ the King as my teachers. I remember one of the Sisters teaching me the prayer, “Jesus, tell me what you want me to do with my life and I will do it.” I prayed this prayer often and the Lord heard my prayer, just not in the way that I was expecting.
My earliest thoughts of religious life began in seventh grade. I was getting ready to leave school one day when all of a sudden I had a strong sense – which I later realized was the Holy Spirit – that someday I would become a Sister. My initial reaction was to reject it, thinking that Sisters just prayed all day and I was not that kind of person. Even though I just wanted to forget about it, I kept praying about my vocation and feeling a pull, though not yet an attraction to the religious life.
After St. Mary, I went to Pius X High School where I became involved in athletics and set aside any thoughts of vocational discernment. During my junior and senior years, I began to deepen in my faith and service and started thinking more about religious life. I went on some retreats sponsored by the diocese, and it was on those retreats where I experienced even more deeply the presence of Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament and his call to “Come, follow me” as a Sister.
Still, I was not yet ready to make the decision to enter religious life. I still had hopes of playing college softball and eventually trying out for the Olympic softball team. Even though I thought that I was supposed to be a Sister one day, it seemed more like an obligation rather than something that I truly desired. God knew that I was not ready to give my heart completely to Him and He was patient with me while I pursued other goals.
I decided to attend the University of Nebraska at Kearney where I hoped to play softball and get the courses I needed to apply for physical therapy school upon graduation. While I was there God continued to pursue me and through prayer transform my heart, little by little, to desire Him alone and to know that my heart would not be satisfied with anything less than Him. Through His providence, I met someone else who was discerning a vocation to the religious life and she helped me to connect with other young people who lived their faith, were authentic witnesses to Jesus and helped me grow in my relationship with Jesus.
At the beginning of my sophomore year of college, I received the opportunity to walk on to the softball team and fulfill one of my lifelong dreams. In many ways it was everything that I had hoped it would be and yet there was still something missing, even after I became the starting centerfielder.
That same fall of sophomore year, my friend received a flyer advertising a retreat for the School Sisters of Christ the King. She wanted to go and softball practices had ended for the fall, so I decided to go with her. While there I observed the joy of the Sisters and found out more about the process of entering. I began to visit the Sisters regularly while at the same time deepening in my prayer life and my conviction that I was called to religious life.
One time, while praying in front of Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament, I was deeply aware of His presence and call to me to become completely His as a religious Sister and I uttered one word to Him, “yes.” It was then that I realized He had slowly been transforming my heart to see becoming a Sister not as an obligation, but the desire of my heart to love and be loved by Him.
This “yes” didn’t come without cost. It was shortly after I started the entrance process that my decision faced adversity. I had the opportunity to join the Sisters for a trip to Chicago, but it was right in the heart of the season and I would miss several practices and games. Knowing that I would be benched and likely not play the rest of the season, I decided to go. In this decision Jesus was helping me to begin to re-prioritize my life and put Him before everything else.
Despite the challenges, God’s grace sustained and guided me in His most holy will. The gift of surrendering to him my ambitions was not without sacrifice, but one that I was happy to give for the One whom I love. Seeing His gift of love for me, I knew that I could not withhold my own and I am grateful for the gift of being His spouse for all my life.
