by Sister M. Andrea Goeckner, FSGM
When I was 13 years old, I sensed the Lord inviting me to serve him in the religious life. At such a young age, I did not realize how a life of total self-giving and caring for others could be absolutely fulfilling. With time I realized that in the heart of every woman, there is a deep desire to love and to be loved by another.
I have chosen a life of intimacy with Jesus who called me to follow him in the Congregation of the Sisters of St. Francis of the Martyr St. George. Our community carries out a variety of apostolates! His Excellency, Glennon P. Flavin asked our sisters to staff Bonacum House when it opened its doors June 15, 1987. It has been an honor to serve our retired priests at Bonacum House both in life and in death.
Having served the priests at Bonacum House for 13 years, I have learned and experienced firsthand what it means to be a spiritual mother. No matter the age, we all need a mother to love and encourage us. Spiritual motherhood is being in relationship with the Lord. We strive to allow ourselves to be loved infinitely by the Lord.
Being a spiritual mother means sharing in the joys and struggles of the priests as they deal with the effects of sickness and old age. Sometimes it means watching them carry a heavy cross of suffering. It is in these moments that I think of Our Blessed Mother as she watched her only Son carry His Cross, be nailed to it and ultimately die on that Cross. She must have felt utterly helpless because she could do nothing to lessen or take away the pain he was enduring. Spiritual motherhood is about nurturing life by allowing them to be who God created them to be. For this to happen, there must be a willingness to die to self.
As all mothers know… motherhood is not a 9-to-5 job. It is not so much about what we do for the priests, but about being present to them when they need us. I will never forget what Father Paul Rutten (1932-2019) said to the sisters the morning after one of our priests died: “Thank you for helping us live—and thank you for helping us die.”
This is exactly what we do here; caring for the priests’ physical needs as well as their spiritual needs by praying and sacrificing for them daily. We are truly a family here; we affectionately call the priests “our boys.” They make sure that we sisters are cared for sacramentally by offering daily Mass and the other sacraments while we care for their needs. We cook all of the meals and clean their apartments as well as do their laundry: everything a mom would do for her children.
One thing we want the priests to know without a doubt is that we are present to them and that we love them. They know that they can reach us any time of day or night.
One of the hardest and yet the most beautiful aspects of my spiritual motherhood is having the opportunity to physically and spiritually accompany several of the priests closely when the Lord called them to Himself. Allow me to share the most recent experience. Sister M. Joan, Sister Maria Christi and I, along with two people who knew Father John Zastrow from Marriage Encounter, were sitting with him Feb. 2 as he was dying. Since we and several of the priests of the diocese as well as lay people were keeping vigil with him, I was looking at my phone, signing up to stay with Father Zastrow that night. Thinking of how exhausted I felt, I was not sure how I was going to pull off another night of keeping vigil with him.
In that moment I was once again made aware of the responsibility I have to be with him as his spiritual mother. Sr. Maria Christi looked at me and said, “tell him he can go.” I put my hand gently under his chin and assured him that we were there with him, that we loved him… and that he could go. Suddenly his face changed, as well as his breathing. As we began to pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet, it was clear that he was at peace when his soul left his body at 5:23 p.m.
Telling Father Zastrow he could go was the hardest thing I told him as his spiritual mother. I was reminded of a quote I read several years ago: “The worst thing to do is to hold on when it is time to let go” (Living in the Father’s Embrace). As a spiritual mother, I am called to let my priests go when the Lord calls them.
When we arrived home after an emotionally draining afternoon and evening, Sister said to me, “Father Zastrow was waiting for you to tell him it was okay to go. After all, he often referred to you as his “Mom.”
Our gift of spiritual motherhood is not limited only to the priests who live at Bonacum House! We are mothers to our families, the people we work with here at Bonacum House as well as those people we meet in the grocery store, on a walk… so many opportunities to live out our spiritual motherhood. I think the greatest and most important aspect of our motherhood is praying for and sacrificing for others.
A few years ago, I was praying for someone I promised to pray for that afternoon. I then thought about how easy it is to tell someone I will pray for them, and how hard it is to tell someone that I will sacrifice for them. Both are of great value, however, making a sacrifice means death to a desire to bring about something even greater. Please pray that I can continue to be the faithful spiritual mother God is calling me to be as His bride.
