Dr. Ray Guarendi presents at Aquinas in David City
By Fr. Gary Coulter
DAVID CITY (SNR) – Twenty years ago, when Catholic psychologist Dr. Ray Guarendi was asked to do a show on Catholic radio, he enthusiastically said, “No.”
“I wasn’t interested. I was doing other things. I was seeing clients, I was speaking, I was writing.” He said he didn’t want to be tied to a microphone.
But his wife said to give it six months, he explained, so he did.
“I absolutely saw the converting power of Catholic radio and I knew this was no longer my choice. I didn’t want to stand before Christ and say… ‘I was busy, I didn’t have time for you,’” when he saw what good it did.
The result is the daily live radio call-in show, “The Doctor is In,” heard on more than 440 radio stations including Spirit Catholic Radio (at noon Central Time.) He also has a TV show, “Living Right with Dr. Ray” seen on EWTN Global Catholic Network and aired in 140 countries.
Yet more than being a clinical psychologist, author, speaker, radio and television host, Dr. Ray Guarendi is proudest of being a Catholic father of 10 adopted children. This gives credibility to his qualification to speak on the topic of parenting and author numerous books on the subject; he knows what he is talking about because he has lived it.
Dr. Ray said parents facing behavioral issues with their children is one of the major problems he sees in his practice.
“Defiance, unruliness, adversarial relationships – about 50 percent of what I do is work with parents.”
Dr. Ray spoke on this topic when he came to the Midwest on a speaking tour, stopping at St. Vincent de Paul School in Seward and Aquinas High School in David City. He was impressed with the turnout of about 150 parents when he spoke in the Aquinas gym Oct. 5.
The main part of his talk, “Parenting is Tough,” emphasized the need for strong discipline. He puts it bluntly, “Discipline without love may be harsh. But love without discipline is child abuse.”
He especially warns of the dangers of the culture.
“Parents need to understand, and not underestimate, how powerful the culture is. Do your best to protect your child’s innocence, and to counter the culture. Yes, your child may resist and fight you, but so much is at stake.”
His counsel is that smart phones and access to social media are given to kids several years too early. He advises parents not to go with the flow of the culture.
“Too many parents don’t take a stand because they’re worried about their child’s resentment and feeling socially isolated. Therefore parents compromise on it long before they should.
“Something I’m seeing much more of that I wasn’t seeing 10 years ago, even five years ago, is an epidemic of gender confusion among our kids. Our culture is confusing kids; it is a heavily socially influenced problem.”
Those who listen to Dr. Ray’s daily radio show know he does not beat around the bush, but he also does a great job of balancing his tough message with lots of humor, such as telling stories about his own kids that illustrate the differences between boys and girls.
In an interview before the talk, Dr. Ray mentioned how his Catholic faith is important in his work as a psychologist and his vocation as a husband and father. He also has two books on the intersection of faith and psychology, reflecting on his decades of experience as a clinical psychologist and a practicing Catholic.
“The wisdom of the Church and the Scriptures well predates modern psychology,” he said. “Those places where modern psychology clashes with biblical and church wisdom, it kind of shows itself not working too well.”
Like many people, Dr. Ray had a rocky journey and many doubts about his own Catholic faith.
“By the grace of God I came back to the church after being away for eight years. I knew the question of life was more important than any other question.”
Dr. Ray said he knew he had to seek answers to his questions, and he found them in Jesus Christ and his church. Indeed, he found abundant evidence for the truth in the history of the early Church and logic of the faith.
Speaking about the great importance and value of the Eucharist, Dr. Ray said it “is absolutely what Jesus said it is: it is him. It is a miracle beyond comprehension. It has infinite power. Unfortunately many don’t take advantage of it.”
Dr. Ray was also encouraged by the Church’s plan for a three-year Eucharistic Revival: “Anything that helps us be aware of the absolute gift our Lord has given us, anything that will help us understand this historic, miraculous reality.”
He concluded his talk advising older parents whose children have left the practice of the faith not to be depressed and beat themselves up. With his characteristic humor, he reminded them, “Did Jesus, who was God, get most people to follow him? Do you think you’re better at this than God?”
Learn more about Dr. Ray Guarendi at drray.com where one can listen to audio and video clips, and purchase books and talks, on topics from parenting, family and marriage, and Catholic apologetics.
