Q. If I stole or lied, do I have to pay back what I stole or tell the person I lied to that I lied?
A. My favorite explanation for the relationship between confession and penance is this: imagine you are playing catch in front of your neighbor’s house and the ball accidently breaks your neighbor’s window.
Being a responsible person, you ring the doorbell and confess to your neighbor you broke the window. Your neighbor, being a nice person, forgives you. However, the window is still broken. The fact that your neighbor forgave you didn’t fix it. Let’s say for the sake of argument you can’t afford to fix the window, so instead you offer to rake their leaves or do some other chore to make some form of restitution.
This is essentially how absolution and penance interact. When we confess our sins and are truly sorry and resolve to amend our lives, God forgives us through absolution imparted by the priest. But even though we are forgiven, the damage done by our sin, to ourselves or to our neighbor or God (or all of the above) remains.
Forgiveness is not contingent upon us doing our penance; penance is us making reparation for our sins: “Absolution takes away sin, but it does not remedy all the disorders sin has caused. Raised up from sin, the sinner must still recover his full spiritual health by doing something more to make amends for the sin: he must ‘make satisfaction for’ or ‘expiate’ his sins. This satisfaction is also called penance.” (CCC 1459)
Usually though, we cannot simply make amends by undoing what we did. Instead, we perform some penance as the only means we have of trying to “make satisfaction” for our sin. Penance “can consist of prayer, an offering, works of mercy, service of neighbor, voluntary self-denial, sacrifices, and above all the patient acceptance of the cross we must bear” (CCC 1460). We can’t fix the window, so we do something to make amends.
There are some sins though where we can, in essence, fix the window. Stealing is one of these sins. If I take something that is not mine, then after I confess the sin of stealing, I should return what I stole: “One must do what is possible in order to repair the harm (e.g., return stolen goods, restore the reputation of someone slandered, pay compensation for injuries). Simple justice requires as much.” (CCC 1459).
This is not always possible (if you steal a candy bar and eat it, putting a new candy bar back on the shelf is probably not the best way to go about making amends) but when it is possible, it should be done. When direct amends can’t be made for stealing, then we should offer the equivalent value of what was taken to charity.
Similarly, when we tell a lie and in doing so harm the reputation of another, we should do what we can to undo the damage of our lie. “Every offense committed against justice and truth entails the duty of reparation, even if its author has been forgiven... this duty of reparation also concerns offenses against another’s reputation. This reparation, moral and sometimes material, must be evaluated in terms of the extent of the damage inflicted” (CCC 2487). If I say something untrue about someone, the least I can do is inform whoever I told that that was untrue.
It is important to remember that a lie is defined as “to speak or act against the truth in order to lead into error someone who has the right to know the truth” (CCC 2483). The “has a right to know” part is essential. The Church recognizes that every person has a right to privacy (c. 220). A clear example of this is a priest cannot give a penance that would require someone to reveal their sin. We might lie to cover up a sin we committed, but we are not bound to reveal the truth. If the lie we told unjustly harms another’s good reputation, we should later tell the truth to repair the harm caused (c. 220).
For example, a person is asked “have you ever stolen anything” and in a moment of panic and shame they say “no” when really, they have in their life stolen something. The person who lied confesses this but is under no obligation to tell the person they lied.
This is very different than someone asking, “Has your friend ever stolen something” and you say “yes” when in reality they never have. Now, you confess the lie and should tell the person, “I’m sorry I lied when I said my friend had stolen something.” We have a right to keep private sins private, but should tell the truth when our lie hurts the reputation of another.
This question was answered by Father Caleb La Rue, chancellor of the Diocese of Lincoln. Write to Ask the Register using our online form, or write to 3700 Sheridan Blvd., Suite 10, Lincoln NE 68506-6100. All questions are subject to editing. Editors decide which questions to publish. Personal questions cannot be answered. People with such questions are urged to take them to their nearest Catholic priest.
