By Reagan Scott
HOLDREGE (SNR) – Ten years ago, Father Jay Buhman created a devotion to answer an oft-asked question, “What can I do for my child or loved one who has left the Catholic faith?”
Wanting to offer something more concrete than advice to “keep praying,” Father Buhman instituted the Masses and Tears devotion.
The devotion consists of a prayer written by Father Buhman asking the intercession of Saint Monica, an image of Saint Monica before the Tabernacle, and offering Masses for loved ones who have left the faith.
Father Buhman, pastor of All Saints Parish in Holdrege, said the devotion is meant to support and encourage parents and others to persevere in prayer, so they can be confident and trusting that God is working behind the scenes, pursuing their loved ones.
It is Father Buhman’s desire that the devotion will offer hope and direction during the Advent season for those saddened by their loved ones’ separation from the Church, as this season can be a time when those who have left may feel called to return.
“Coming back to the practice of the faith is a common theme around this time,” Father Buhman said. “In the season of Advent, and Christmas as well, we have an example of God coming to meet us where we are, so we can encounter him and draw close to him. People who are away recognize this time of year as an opportunity to encounter our Lord in his love and goodness and restart that relationship with our Lord. I think there are many people who come home to a relationship with Christ.”
Saint Monica served as the inspiration for the devotion because of her own dedication in praying for her family members.
Saint Monica was the mother of Saint Augustine of Hippo, who converted to Christianity 17 years after Monica began to intercede on her son’s behalf. The conversion of her husband and mother-in-law are also credited to her intercession.
While the prayer is written from a parent’s perspective, Father Buhman noted that it can be modified for anyone the intercessor may want to pray for. Having Masses offered at one’s parish can allow all in attendance to lift loved ones up in prayer, joined to the sacrifice of Jesus.
“Saint Monica knew the value of a Mass,” Father Buhman wrote on the devotion’s website. “Near the conclusion of her life she asked for only one thing of Augustine: that he remember her at the altar of the Lord.”
Masses and personal prayer offer concrete action for the devotion, but Father Buhman emphasized the importance of the image, which he hopes will be a source of hope and encouragement.
Father Buhman worked with local artist Sondra Johnson to bring his vision to life. Rich in symbolism, it depicts Saint Monica tearfully praying in front of the Tabernacle. Catching her tears in her hands, she offers them to God while bathed in rays from the Tabernacle, symbolizing the grace of God and his work in her life and that of her loved ones through the Holy Spirit.
It is Father Buhman’s hope that the image will be a reminder of the relationship we have with God. Despite her sadness and exhaustion, Saint Monica humbly kneels before the Lord, not seeing the grace he pours over her, but trusting in his goodness nonetheless.
“We’re very visual people in this day and age. Having the image in front of us or in our homes can be a powerful witness and reminder of what perseverance and trust in God looks like,” Father Buhman said.
He was careful to note that people shouldn’t be intimidated by Monica’s sainthood as they journey the same path she once trod.
“Some might say, ‘Of course Augustine converted, because he had a saint praying for him,’ but what’s often missed is that Monica was just like you and me,” Father Buhman said. “She was an ordinary person praying for the conversion of her son, and she became a saint because of her prayer. God can do the same in us.”
He said that parents shouldn’t feel discouraged if their intercessory journey is a long one, because God is also working in their own lives to make them holy, just as he was working in Monica’s.
“The best thing we can do for our children who have left the faith is be saints and grow in our relationship with the Lord. It gives our prayer all that much more power and strength,” Father Buhman said. “God wants to come to our children who have left the practice of the faith, but He also wants to come to us so we can be more and more in union with Him.”
Jill Hain, the vice president of programs for the Serra Club of West Omaha, previously taught at Saint Mary School (now Aquinas Catholic Elementary) in David City, and knew Father Buhman through the Aquinas School System. She learned about the devotion from him, and asked him to speak about it at a luncheon for the Serra Club in August last year. The Serra Club is an organization that promotes and supports vocations.
Hain had talked to people who felt sadness over loved ones’ separation from the Church and didn’t know what to do to bring them back. She hoped that by asking Father Buhman to share the devotion, those in attendance would feel comfort and peace.
“I believed the devotion was something that could offer people some consolation while continuing on their own spiritual journeys, as they persevered in prayer and reflected on the image of Saint Monica,” Hain said.
She said the devotion was well-received by the group, with many taking materials to share with friends. She also pointed out that the devotion can be used by anyone at any age.
“While a majority of our members in the Serra Club of West Omaha are retired or nearing retirement, and have children and grandchildren who have left the Church, we do have a growing number of members in their 20s and 30s as well,” Hain said. “One young member, Megan Seaman, who is on staff at St. Patrick Church in Gretna, shared with me that she, too, is concerned about friends her age that have left the Church, so she began praying the prayer and has shared the devotion with her friends, even in other states.”
Father Buhman encourages anyone who is interested in the devotion to visit his website, massesandtears.wordpress.com. There, they can find information on the devotion, the prayer that he wrote and order materials if they desire, which include such items as holy cards, prints and brochures. Questions can be directed to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..
