By Ronald Lee
Member, Society of St. Vincent de Paul
The volunteers who do the work of the Society of St. Vincent de Paul in the Lincoln Diocese – we call ourselves “Vincentians” – go out in pairs to meet and see how they may help those who call into the SVDP Helpline (402-435-7968). We are in the emergency-services business – trying to help people who face eviction, are about to have their utilities turned off, are without food, or are homeless. In doing this work, we come to understand in a powerful way the inseparable relationship between humility and Christian charity.
These familiar sayings have constituted our understanding of God’s relationship to us and our relationship to our neighbors:
- “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” Luke 11:4
- “Let the one among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” John 8:7
- “My son was lost but now he is found.” Luke 15:32
- “People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.” George Herbert (1593-1633), English clergyman and poet
As Jesus taught in the Parable of the Good Samaritan, our neighbors are not just those who are like us and close to us, but all those who we encounter. They are not just the good Catholic family down the street, but those in jail, who Christ urges us to visit (Matthew 26:39). They are not just the well-educated parishioner who is temporarily unemployed, but the homeless couple living in the People’s City Mission. They are not just a friend who has fallen ill, but the stranger who is addicted to drugs or alcohol.
When we meet the less fortunate, they typically have not come through their ordeal without acquiring styles of living that may offend our middle-class sensibilities. They may have children out of wedlock; they may be living with a partner outside of marriage; they may have committed crimes; they may have spent their money in ways we think unwise.
Most of us live in a world of respectable appearances. Our money, our education, our possessions, and our manners create an outward image of social acceptability. We can all too easily rationalize that these advantages are signs of our superiority. Remember that Jesus’s admonition to the Pharisees—the most proper of men—to let him without sin cast the first stone, dispersed the crowd as each person looked upon his own guilty conscience.
When I joined the Society of St. Vincent de Paul, I heard one admonition over and over again: if you cannot visit the poor without judging them, stay home. If you feel morally superior, stay home. If you think you have all the right answers, stay home. Humility is the prerequisite of Christian charity.
This brings me to a tension that all Vincentians constantly face in helping those in need: where is the boundary between abetting sin and being charitable? There are certain cases where the decision is simple. We would never provide money for an abortion. We would never give clients cash that could be used to buy alcohol or drugs (we make direct payments to stores, landlords, and utility companies).
But there are other cases, more difficult cases. These are the circumstances that Vincentians face every day. We enter an apartment that smells of marijuana and ask ourselves whether we should buy food. We meet an unmarried couple living together and we ask ourselves whether we should help provide them with furniture. We meet a former addict, and we ask ourselves whether we should help pay the medical bills necessary to restore teeth damaged by drug use. We meet a mother who has lost her children and we ask ourselves whether we should help her set up a household so she can regain custody.
I have encountered each of these situations. Any simple rule, any declaration of a single principle, will inevitably be confounded by the complexity of the circumstances. Yes, the apartment smells of marijuana, but there are three children living there and they are without food. Yes, the couple is unmarried, but it is only by staying together that they have any chance of staying off the street. Yes, the woman’s health has been compromised by drugs, but without root canal work she will be in terrible pain. Yes, this woman lost her children due to neglect, but she is making a genuine effort to change her life and reunite her family. Real cases are never exemplars of principle; they are instances in which various moral imperatives are in conflict.
This is why we might think of Jesus as the Grand Critic of all our various “isms.” All those human philosophies that claim to offer prescriptions on how humans should live are expressions of intellectual hubris. It is only Christ who reconciles all of life’s contradictions in his mercy. Only by contemplating Christ’s example can we do God’s work.
Years ago, a member of my St. Vincent de Paul conference sent me an article from the The Wanderer (February 17, 2005). It featured a column entitled “Catholic Replies.” A reader had posed a question about the Vincentian’s responsibility to avoid enabling sin. The columnist, religious educator James Drummey, wrote, “Is the Society associating with sinners? Yes, in some cases, but Jesus associated with sinners. Jesus was trying to influence sinners to change their lives, and St. Vincent de Paul is trying to do the same by its generosity and good example. As someone has said, the face of the volunteer might be the only face of Christ that some people will ever see.”
If you ever talk with experienced Vincentians, they will likely tell you that when they sit down with needy families to hear their stories the words that echo in their mind are “there but by the grace of God go I.” I often think these families are living a more dignified life than I would manage given their circumstances. Many of our clients grew up in abusive households. They were denied the opportunities that lead to a life of economic security. If you or I lost a job or had a medical emergency, we probably could call on family members to support us over the rough patches. Few of our clients have this kind of safety net. They work hard but they struggle to raise children with the uncertainty, meager benefits, and pay typical of low-wage employment. Many of those we meet have long-term health problems and live on the small stipends provided by Social Security Disability Insurance. The fuller context almost always shames any sense of superiority.
All we can do is approach each case with a humble heart and pray for God’s guidance.
