By Fr. Jay Buhman
Pastor, All Saints Parish in Holdrege
Masses and Tears devotion
Throughout my priesthood, many people had asked me what they could do for their children and loved ones who had left the Faith. It took a long time, but out of one particular experience came the Masses and Tears devotion.
About 15 years ago, when I was an associate priest, my heart was moved in a new way for parents.
At the time, I had a middle-of-the-night holy hour to support our parish’s perpetual adoration of the Blessed Sacrament. Late at night, the doors of the church were locked, and there was a bell to ring when the next adorer arrived. Each week I would answer the doorbell to let in an elderly gentleman who had been making a middle-of-the-night holy hour for about 50 years. We would make a little small talk as we walked slowly to the front of the small chapel where the adoration pew was located, then I would wish him a good night and I would exit the chapel and return to the rectory.
One particular morning, this gentleman began to tell me about his adult daughter who had left the Catholic Church. She had written a scathing entry on her blog about how the Catholic Church wouldn’t welcome her to receive Holy Communion. As this elderly man began to tell me about this, he broke down and began to weep. This wasn’t just a cry. It came from deep down in his heart. I remember I was moved almost to tears myself as I put my arm around his shoulders and he began to shake as his sobs left him. His love for Jesus and the Church was unmistakable.
It seemed obvious to me that he wanted to express this love for Jesus and the Church to his daughter, but just didn’t have the ability to answer her misgivings about the Church. This last incident seemed to be the breaking point for this man who just couldn’t understand why his daughter didn’t see the Eucharist and the Church as he did. I remember him, in the midst of sobs, asking me, “What can I do? What should I do?”
Most vividly I remember having very little to say except, “Keep praying for her.…”
I remember how weak that seemed. For a man so moved, I felt there should be something more. The following week, he brought a copy of the blog post his daughter wrote, and he gave it to me so I could read it. Again, he simply began to speak about her and the sobbing returned. My heart went out to him. His love — seen in his love for his daughter and in his love for Jesus in the Eucharist —was so beautiful and it made me think about my response to him.
Upon reflection, it seemed that throughout my priesthood, many people had come up to me and asked me what they could do for their children and loved ones who had left the Faith. Some were worried about the eternal salvation of their children. Some thought it all might be their own fault. Some had tried so hard to encourage a return to the Faith and were at a loss as to what more could be done. Through it all, I kept answering them in the same way – be a good example of the Faith to your children and continue to pray for them. Now, before the love and devotion of this man, those words, to me, seemed to be very little help.
It took a long time, but out of this experience, came the Masses and Tears devotion.
The Masses and Tears devotion was written for parents who are praying for their children to return to the practice of the Catholic Faith, though the devotion could be used by anyone who is praying for a loved one. The Masses and Tears image is the heart of the devotion and is an image of St. Monica in prayer before the Lord in the tabernacle. Every aspect of the image has meaning and can hopefully speak to a parent’s heart with encouragement and hope.
One of my favorite sites in the Holy Land is Ein Karem, the traditional location of the Visitation. When Elizabeth greets Mary with her words of blessing, Mary responds in the beautiful words of the Magnificat (Luke 1:46-55):
“My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has regarded the low estate of his handmaiden. For behold, henceforth all generations will call me blessed; for he who is mighty has done great things for me, and holy is his name. And his mercy is on those who fear him from generation to generation. He has shown strength with his arm, he has scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts, he has put down the mighty from their thrones, and exalted those of low degree; he has filled the hungry with good things, and the rich he has sent empty away. He has helped his servant Israel, in remembrance of his mercy, as he spoke to our fathers, to Abraham and to his posterity for ever.”
One can’t help but notice that what Mary is praising in the action of God has not been brought to fulfillment in the moment of the Visitation. It would have been difficult to see, in that present moment, the strength of his arm, the scattering of the proud, the putting down of the mighty, etc., except in the confident hope that comes with the presence of her child in the womb. In the image used in the Masses and Tears devotion, St. Monica is depicted as catching her tears in her hands. She offers her tears to the Father on behalf of her son Augustine, as is intimated in the Collect for the Mass in her honor. But the hands depicted here are also in a posture of receptivity – she is ready to receive whatever God desired to give her in that moment of prayer.
The Magnificat is a testimony of anticipation based on the faithfulness and love of God. The perseverance of St. Monica’s prayer for the conversion of her son is similar. She could persevere not because of some sort of already-saintly, superhuman effort on her part, but because she trusted in a loving Father who was hearing her prayers and acting in every moment – even when she couldn’t see the outward effects for herself.
When we pray for children to come back to the Catholic Faith, and wait on the Lord to act, we tend to focus on what’s not happening. Like Mary and St. Monica, we need to approach our prayer with an expectation that something is happening. There’s no timeframe for its completion or fulfillment; only a confident expectation that the Lord of all will hear us and is acting according to His holy will. Learn more at massesandtears.org or contact Masses and Tears at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..
