Guest column
By Lizzy Engelkamp, M.A.
Ph.D. Candidate
It would benefit couples to think of their marital health a bit more like their dental health. Anything worth maintaining in the long run, like our teeth, or even our cars, requires regular preventative care to prevent minor issues from becoming major problems.
We don’t wait for a painful cavity to see the dentist, so why wait until a relationship is distressed before checking in?
Unfortunately, the research indicates that couples wait an average of six years to seek help addressing relationship difficulties. There is a better way! Proactive maintenance, whether for teeth, cars, or marriages, is key to long-term vitality.
I’m a clinical psychology Ph.D. candidate at Clark University, and my work centers on strengthening relationships within the context of the Catholic faith. My husband and I recently moved home to Gretna, where we’re parishioners at St. Charles Borromeo. As a Catholic psychologist-in-training, I feel called to help couples see their marriages not merely as relationships but as sacred commitments that reflect God’s love. This sacred perspective fuels my passion for empowering couples to nurture their marriages. And in our community, there’s now a simple, proactive way to do this—a Catholic Relationship Checkup!
A Relationship Checkup is a guided way for couples to reflect on their strengths, identify areas for growth, and set meaningful intentions for the year ahead. It’s like an annual tune-up, but instead of tires, we’re focused on communication, understanding, and the mutual compassion that serves as the foundation of a marriage.
In my research, I’m studying a Catholic adaptation of this checkup, which integrates our faith into the process. This means recognizing marriage as a sacrament—a holy reflection of God’s love. The term for this recognition is relationship sanctification, and it’s the belief that your relationship is sacred and set apart by God. While most Catholics know that marriage is a holy sacrament and vocation, many of us could be more intentional in the way we live out that sacred calling. Just as you tend to your spiritual life through prayer and the sacraments, nurturing your marriage is a tangible way of living out your faith.
I’m thrilled to offer Catholic married couples in Nebraska a free Relationship Checkup as part of my dissertation research. This checkup allows you to explore your relationship through a Catholic lens, rooted in our Church’s teachings on love and sacramental marriage. To learn more or sign up, please email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. You can also find me on Instagram at @RelationshipCheckupCatholic.
Participating couples will meet with me on Zoom for two 60–90-minute sessions. During the assessment session, we will reflect on your relationship history, celebrate your marriage’s unique strengths, and identify areas of challenge. The second session is the feedback and action session, in which we will discuss research-based tools to continue nurturing the health of your marriage.
To help me complete my degree, you would also complete three surveys and share your feedback on the experience. Your participation will be confidential, and you can decline to participate anytime. Each couple will receive a $20 e-gift card for completing the surveys.
Your marriage is a unique calling from the Lord and a sacrament through which you live out your love for God and your spouse all at once. Proactively caring for your marriage is a beautiful, sanctifying pursuit—one that reflects the sacredness of your commitment. May we all take up this holy work with joy and courage.
