Exodus 90 kickoff invites men on spiritual journey
By Fr. Gary Coulter
Director, Our Lady of Good Counsel Retreat House
If you have heard of Exodus 90 – a 90-day program for men before Easter, starting Jan. 20 this year – you may have a vague notion of cold showers and basically giving up everything pleasurable. But just focusing on the disciplines is missing out on its most important parts.
Exodus 90 (E90) is built on three foundational pillars: prayer, asceticism, and fraternity. Participants commit to a structured spiritual practice that includes daily prayer, intentional self-denial, and building meaningful connections with other men of faith.
Prayer
Through a guided reflection, men are invited to make a daily commitment to prayer, particularly the transformative practice of the holy hour. In our noisy, distraction-filled world, E90 challenges men to embrace 20 minutes of daily silent prayer, a practice that might initially seem daunting, but ultimately becomes a powerful pathway to spiritual growth. Prayer is a daily battle against anxieties, distractions, and the constant urge to be productive, inviting men to invest time in listening, and allowing God to work within them.
Prayer is learning to recognize and deepen our minute-by-minute dependence upon God. And developing a habit of daily prayer is essential to the Christian life. In E90, the men find this becomes a time to develop a relationship, a conversation in which we relate our thoughts, feelings and desires to God. We bring to him our anxieties and worries, our families and apostolates, our troubles and fears. It’s not a time where we try to impress God, but rather bring to him our weakness and failings in order to trust in Him.
Fraternity
At the heart of Exodus 90 is the fraternity. We will all fail at E90, just as we fall in the journey of life. But the fraternity is crucial because it provides a supportive community where men can be open and honest about their struggles, and hold each other accountable. Men commit to a weekly fraternity meeting and daily check-in with an anchor.
After several meetings, I was amazed how men would share the challenges they faced and help each other get back up when we fell. And having the mutual support and encouragement of a daily anchor allows men to journey together in partnership, not in isolation.
I think it is part of how God made us: we are not made to go it alone. We receive support and strength from others, and especially today, many men feel alone and isolated. Seeing men make a commitment to daily prayer amidst the busyness of work and family life inspires me to be faithful to prayer as well, even when it’s dry, or hard to do.
The idea in our culture is that freedom means doing whatever I want, ordering my day and my life entirely how I desire. But if we do so without considering what is true and right, what God has revealed in his law and his plan – then our lives begin to unravel, it leads to addiction and slavery. I am sure you too have been there and experienced that false freedom which results when I turn to the things of this world to fulfill me, and I end up not in peace, but in dependence. True freedom – freedom in Christ – sets us free in such a way that there’s a deep peace, even amid suffering, hardship, and difficulty.
Discipline
Exodus 90 gets us into the mindset of considering what is truly important and of value. By a daily dying to self, through self-discipline and penance, we live a sobriety (giving up alcohol, snacks, and sweets) and watchfulness (foregoing television, social media, and unnecessary electronics). Fasting and abstinence during the week helps us better prepare to celebrate the Lord’s Day.
The stakes of life are high; our eternal fate weighs in the balance. And by giving up even good and legitimate pleasures, we are learning to see and overcome the things that hold us back. We learn to travel light without a lot of attachment to this world: to live as though this world is not my home, to learn how to use and enjoy the things of this world without selfishly clinging to them – this is freedom.
Yes, the disciplines are hard, but one thing I learned from them was that I simply did not know how to fast and do penance, period. There are healthy practices as well, such as regular exercise and getting enough sleep. And not just focusing on the negatives of what one gives up, you are asked to ponder “why” you are doing this. For example, many married men in my fraternity voiced that their marriages were better because they were able to give their wives and children more of the attention they deserve.
Nearly all men who join the Exodus 90 spiritual exercise realize that they are not free to love and serve their families and God as they ought. Recognizing the specific dependencies or attachments from which you desire freedom is an important start. For example, my “why” includes the need to be free from slavery to technology and that device I carry in my pocket. But the men will be asked to acknowledge something more: who do you love – for whom you are willing to do whatever it takes to be free?
On Sunday, Jan. 19, from 1 to 6 p.m., all men are invited to attend a unique kickoff event at Good Counsel Retreat House in Waverly. This free Exodus 90 kickoff will include information about the program, testimonials from men who have completed it, opportunities to form or join a fraternity, time for confession and adoration, and a fellowship supper (free-will donations accepted). It will be a mini-retreat for men who have done E90 before, or a good preparation for those starting the first time.
No pre-registration is required for men of all ages and backgrounds to attend the Exodus 90 kickoff and explore this transformative spiritual journey. For more information, contact Good Counsel Retreat House at 402-786-2705 or email This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..
