By S.L. Hansen
for the Register
On Friday, March 14, members of the Campus Ministry Club from Pius X High School in Lincoln gathered at the North American Martyrs parish fish fry to help families who have children with special needs.
While the parents waited in the festive but long line, the students played with the children on the school playground. This seemingly small act of kindness was a welcome gift to the families, because it enabled them to participate in a fish fry that would normally be too daunting to attempt.
Any parent who has taken children to a large parish event of this nature knows the challenge of keeping a hungry kid occupied in line while the scent of delicious food wafts over them, but it can be an added challenge for children who have special needs. These individuals can find such an environment overstimulating, frustrating, frightening, or even painful.
The Pius X students were happy to help.
“It’s a super great opportunity to hang out with the kids,” said senior Maya Kane of St. Peter Parish in Lincoln. “They are a joy… so awesome.”
Senior Lucy Ring from St. Michael Parish agreed.
“I wanted to come out and help because I love working with kids.”
Both young women recalled going to fish fries as children to be a fun, celebratory event. They were eager to enable a handful of families to experience that.
The Miller family of St. John the Apostle Parish in Lincoln arrived at the fish fry with their three children. Luke, their oldest, has autism. As he stood in the comfort of his dad’s protective arm, the parents spoke about how important it is for families like theirs to be able to attend parish functions like a fish fry.
“Being visible in the community is really important,” Matthew Miller explained. “These opportunities are pretty few and far between in our community, so when they happen, we want to show up and show that we appreciate the work.”
“We love our parish, but this is a unique journey that we are on, in the special needs world,” Laura Miller said. “To be able to connect with people is a little harder.”
She was grateful that the Pius X students were so willing to help.
“It did not take much to coordinate,” she said. “They were quick to jump to it. They’re really living the beatitudes in that way.”
While it would be a relatively simple thing for any parish to recruit teens to play with children who have special needs during a fish fry, Mary Sweeney of Lincoln’s St. Joseph Parish looks at this first experience to be a sort of test run for something bigger.
Sweeney and her husband, Luke, have been constantly looking for support since their oldest child, Henry, was born with Down Syndrome. She and Catholics from other parishes who are in similar circumstances have formed a Facebook group that enables them to share resources, such as how to get preparation for sacraments when Confraternity of Christian Doctrine (CCD) classes cannot accommodate their children with special needs.
Some time ago, the Sweeneys learned an evangelical church in Lincoln offered a respite night for families like theirs. Each child who has special needs is assigned a high school-aged buddy for the evening, while group leaders are provided for siblings who do not need an individual helper. Many activities are provided for the kids, such as karaoke, crafts, and visits from therapy dogs. A separate room is set up for children who need quiet.
Parents can drop off all their children, knowing that they will be safe and occupied, while they take time to reconnect, enjoy a dinner for two, run errands, or whatever they need to do to maintain a healthy marriage and family.
It is harder for parents who have children with special needs to find time for each other, simply because there is so much more work to be done, and there is more tag-teaming to balance the needs of all their children. Mary Sweeney said the difference is that most kids will have phases that last a few weeks, months or years, while a child with special needs can legitimately have the same challenges for years.
The Sweeneys shared this respite program with other Catholic families in their Facebook group. However, the question arose: Why doesn’t our own community have something like this?
So, Mary Sweeney got in touch with Scotty Sullivan, the director of campus ministry at Pius X, and the fish fry experiment was planned. In time, the Sweeneys hope that Pius X will be able to launch its own respite night for families who have children with special needs, because there are always more families who need such loving provision.
Luke Sweeney suggested that giving Pius X students the opportunity to volunteer with special needs children would help them in multiple ways, from realizing a calling to serve that community, to simply being more comfortable and welcoming with people who are different. “I’d never been around anybody with special needs when I was at Pius,” he said.
Mary Sweeney added that the service the Pius X students provided at the fish fry is part of being pro-life, because it answers the question, “How are we supporting these people with special needs?”
“Having something like this kind of provides sanity,” she said. “Even having these things, it’s still hard to do.”
For more information about the organization, find the Facebook group “Catholic Special Needs Parent’s Network,” for parents or guardians in the Diocese of Lincoln who are raising a child or adult with special needs.
