Guest column by Bob McDonald
Family services representative, Calvary Cemetery
It’s easy to not think about Calvary Cemetery.
Even situated smack in the middle of town, just south of O Street near 40th, Lincoln’s Catholic cemetery is still easy to overlook.
If we do think about it, it’s usually and obviously because of a death – one that has happened or one that is going to happen – and who wants to think about that?
When I’ve mentioned that I’m now working at a cemetery, the response has nearly always included: “Really... huh. ” This is often followed by an awkward chuckle, a brief pause, then something like: “Do you have to work the graveyard shift?” or a similar pun that tries to avoid discomfort.
Well, since starting work at the Calvary office in March, I now think about the cemetery, and death, virtually every day. And in that time, here are some things I’ve learned, or have been reminded of.
Death is important to our faith.
Thinking about death is sort of like talking about money. We do it because we have to, but generally we would rather not. Yet finances are connected to our faith in vitally important ways (perhaps a topic for another day), just as death and how we honor the dead are important elements of our faith. A favorite prayer of mine to St. Joseph includes this passage: “Shield us ever under thy patronage, that imitating thy example and strengthened by thy help, we may live a holy life, die a happy death and attain everlasting bliss in heaven.” Ideally, we live a good life so that when we die, our loved ones will gather to say “Well-done, good and faithful servant” and to lay our body to rest in a holy place as our soul enters eternal happiness. We NEED to think about that, if only to remind ourselves of what we’re trying to accomplish here on earth.
From loss comes blessing.
Faced with circumstances and losses that sometimes are foreseen and other times certainly not, the faithful continually fill those of us at Calvary with inspiration. I’ve already experienced few examples:
A husband and father leaving his job and turning his life inside out so that he could be present for his children who just lost their mother.
A wife accepting God’s will, embracing joy and leading her young family through the shocking loss of their husband and father.
A grandfather and grandson together dealing with the confusion and grief of a young man’s unexpected death.
A woman calmly taking care of the “business” of dying while showing little sign that she is on hospice care.
A young father lovingly taking care of the burial details that his wife cannot yet bear to, after the loss of their infant son.
“This is an easy thing to put off.”
As a cemetery visitor and I recently looked for a family member’s headstone, she acknowledged that she needs to get her plans in the works. Planning for cemetery services, grave spaces and markers is a tremendous gift to surviving family members.
In my own experience, I learned that lesson from my father when he died and had virtually every decision already made and paid for, allowing me and the rest of my family to focus on the grieving process and saying goodbye.
The decisions made ahead can be done with careful thought rather than rushed and perhaps regretted. Thanks to my father’s lesson, my wife and I have our grave spaces chosen and our marker installed, hoping that they won’t be needed for many years to come. In any circumstance, know the cemetery staff stands ready to work with you throughout the process.
Calvary is a BIG place, and there is a lot going on.
At roughly 20 acres, the cemetery grounds require great care, significant funding and much luck from the weather. Just in the past six months, trees have been removed or trimmed, new trees added, a new roof installed on the St. Charbel Mausoleum Chapel, lawn-care machinery updated and renewal begun on the stations of the cross areas.
Much more is in progress or in the planning stage, such as expansion of the Infant of Prague (Babyland) area, rejuvenation of the Priests’ Point altar and surrounding area, new walkways and general beautification.
The cemetery is worth a visit.
Whether or not you know a loved one at Calvary, consider a visit. The beautiful outdoor Memorial Day Mass draws hundreds, but don’t wait till then to stop by. It is always laudable to pray for the dead, and we often have events to help us all remember that fact.
Beginning Friday night, Oct. 23, and over several evenings following, the annual “Back From the Dead” cemetery walk will take place at Calvary. Organized by Blake and Cheryl Winter of St. Joseph Parish in Lincoln, the event features adult actors who help walkers reflect on the four last things: death, judgment, heaven and hell. There is also an indoor option to be held on All Saints Day, Nov. 1. The walk is free, but you must register to attend. Contact Cheryl at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. for current ticket availability. If the walk is full, you still may be able to join a waiting list.
On All Souls Day, Nov. 2, Bishop James Conley will celebrate a 5 p.m. Mass in the chapel. That same afternoon, our traditional inurnment of unburied cremated remains at no cost will take place. (For more details and to fill out the necessary documents, contact the cemetery by Friday, Oct. 30, at 402-476-8787 or This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..)
At any time of year, come to Mass in the chapel on Fridays at 12:15 p.m., take a walk on the peaceful grounds, pray for loved ones or make an appointment to visit the office to go over your own plans.
We appreciate donors and volunteers.
Many people help the cemetery through their financial donations and volunteer work – beautifying the grounds, making rosaries to give away, creating items to give to families who have lost a baby, helping with the Memorial Day service, and so on. The cemetery staff and grounds crew are a small team, and there is always something we can use help with. If you are open to helping us fulfill our mission, just reach out to any of us at Calvary.
Calvary Cemetery is a holy and sacred place, one that can be an important stop on our journey from life to death to everlasting life. Please, think about Calvary Cemetery. As I said, it’s easy not to – but if you do, we think you’ll really dig it. (Sorry, couldn’t resist.)
But if you find yourself here unexpectedly, perhaps after the loss of someone dear to you, take a moment to recall one of the Beatitudes: “Blessed are they who mourn, for they will be comforted.”
