By Bishop James Conley
Many of you know that in 2020, I took a leave of absence to attend to my physical, psychological, emotional and spiritual health. This was a very dark time for me. Anxiety led to insomnia, which led to depression, which led to a loss of the sense of God’s presence in my life. I was overwhelmed by my responsibilities as bishop, and relying too much on my own strength. As I received good professional care, I learned that weakness is part of the human condition, but the more we rely exclusively on ourselves, the more those weaknesses are exacerbated.
I offer these thoughts as a way to introduce my fourth pastoral letter, “A Future with Hope.” May is Mental Health Awareness Month, so I thought it fitting to speak about my own experience with the prayer that my journey, which continues, will be a source of hope and strength for others.
Mental health is not something my generation gave much consideration to, growing up. My father and his generation were of the attitude that if things were not going well, the proper response was just to work harder. Showing weakness was not acceptable. Thankfully, society has moved beyond this, and we now recognize that mental health is not just an act of the will, but flows from a number of factors, many of which are beyond our immediate control.
While mental health struggles may originate from places beyond our control, I have discovered that there are things that can help us heal. Along with support from the medical field to address the psychological and physiological aspects of my condition, I found, perhaps not surprisingly, that I also needed to make room for grace. The Mass, the rosary, and my breviary (the official daily prayers of the Church for priests and religious) anchored me as I moved from the darkness that surrounded me back into the light of God’s love.
Friendship is also key. We are created for community; we need human connection. I am blessed with many friends who strengthened me during my healing process and continue to support me today. For some, unfortunately, friendship is not easily found or can be difficult to foster, but I encourage all to search and pray for friendships. There are always friends waiting to be discovered through activities at your local parish.
Let me also suggest that all of us have the responsibility to be a friend to others. Seek out friendship, even if it is a little awkward or uncomfortable at first. Be the one to introduce yourself and start a conversation. There is nothing more life-giving than friendship, and it is well worth the effort.
No doubt, every person who struggles with a mental health condition is unique and requires his or her own plan for recovery. I have learned that the physical, emotional, and spiritual are all interconnected. And the more we rely simply on our own strength in each of these areas, the more our struggles will persist.
Jesus tells us that “apart from me you can do nothing” (John 15:5). I learned this the hard way. When I became your bishop, I tried to carry the burdens of the office by myself, which inevitably led to a mental health crisis. This ultimately kicked off a painful healing journey, for which I am extremely grateful. Now, especially with the ongoing support of friends and many within the diocese who assist me in my work, I am free of the burden of carrying the load on my own.
The whole experience, while tremendously difficult, has opened a new vocation for me as a witness to the reality of mental health struggles. In my pastoral letter I share more of my story with the hope that it will provide encouragement for those suffering with their own mental health struggles or for those of us who know someone struggling with mental health issues.
Should you be experiencing mental health struggles, I encourage you to read my pastoral letter and avail yourself of some of the resources listed at the end. You are not alone. The Church wants to walk with you. Perhaps God desires complete healing for you, or perhaps some of your suffering is part of your individual call to holiness.
Either way, everything is within God’s loving providence: “I know the plans I have for you… plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope” (Jeremiah 29:11). The path into that life of hope should not be walked alone. Please seek help so “that you may have life and have it abundantly” (John 10:10).
The full text of Bishop Conley’s pastoral letter, an audio recording of the letter and an interview with the bishop are at lincolndiocese.org/afuturewithhope.
