By Bishop James Conley
One of our four priorities that came from the listening sessions and the planning committee for our One Heart in Christ pastoral plan for the next five years, is “Holy Marriage and Family Life.” This pastoral principal seeks to engender, encourage and inspire holy marriages and family life so that every person finds a home in the Church.
The family is often referred to as the “domestic church” (ecclesia domestica). The Christian family is a community of faith, hope and love that mirrors the universal Church.
The Second Vatican Council and the Catechism of the Catholic Church popularized this ancient idea to describe how the home is the first school of Christian life. The parish can and should offer the best Catholic education, the best catechetical and sacramental programs, the best preaching, teaching and sacred worship, but if the family fails to pass on the Catholic faith within the home, all the other efforts can never replace what happens within the family.
The Catholic Church has always believed and taught that parents are the “first and primary educators of their children.” The Catechism of the Catholic Church teaches that:
“Christ chose to be born and grow up in the bosom of the Holy Family of Joseph and Mary. The Church is nothing other than ‘the family of God.’ From the beginning, the core of the Church was often constituted by those who had become believers ‘together with all [their] household.’ When they were converted, they desired that ‘their whole household’ should also be saved. These families who became believers were islands of Christian life in an unbelieving world” (CCC 1655).
No one would deny that, not unlike the first Christians, we live in a culture that is often hostile toward marriage and the family. The Church should be a refuge from that persecution. We know that building solid Catholic families will strengthen both the Church and the culture. Pope Saint John Paul II often taught that “as the family goes, so goes the nation and so goes the whole world in which we live.”
The family is the building block of the Church and society. The great American Jesuit priest, theologian, author, and now, “servant of God,” Father John Harden wrote often about the Domestic Church. Father Hardon offers every family this bold challenge:
“Ordinary Catholic families cannot survive. They must be extraordinary families. They must be what I do not hesitate to call heroic Catholic families. Family life can be restored in our society only by the apostolic zeal of holy Catholic families reaching out to other families who are in such desperate need today.”
In the July/August edition of Restoration, the publication from Madonna House, there is an article from a member of their community reminiscing about her childhood. She writes:
“My mother never began a project without first crossing herself silently to ask God’s blessings ... in the evening, as we passed our parents’ bedroom, we saw them kneeling, one on each side of the bed, reciting their night prayers together... We also prayed the rosary as a family after supper ...Our parents brought us to Mass each Sunday."
She then said, “We led a normal family life, and church was an integral part of it.” Is that a description of some bygone era or could we not reclaim family life today?
The goal of every husband should be to get his wife to heaven. The goal of every wife should be to get her husband to heaven. You’ve heard the old verse, “The greatest thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.”
The goal of parents should be to get their children to heaven; the goal of every family is to be saints. Is your family on the road to sanctity? What does this road look like? Be intentional, make the conscious choice to protect marriage and family life, rejecting whatever is contrary to the Gospel, to reject whatever is contrary to the name of Christ. Sanctify the home, purify your home of everything that is not of God. Get rid of all sinful influences your family may be exposed to through the television, social media or the computer. Be intentional regarding mealtime, be intentional regarding family time, be intentional regarding prayer time. St. Mother Teresa of Calcutta’s famous words still ring true today: “the family that prays together stays together.”
Remember to keep holy the Lord’s Day. As we move forward let us reclaim Sunday, the Lord’s Day by being intentional in attending Mass as a family. Afterwards, a family drive in the country, visiting a local shrine or grotto, organizing a neighborhood rosary or bible study, rediscover family dinner. Again, is this a description of some bygone era, or could we not reclaim Sunday and rediscover how to celebrate this day given to us as a day of rest?
At the end of the section on Holy Marriage and Family Life in my pastoral letter, One Heart in Christ, I conclude with these words:
St. Joseph provides an excellent, faithful role model for marriages and families. As the head of the Holy Family, he protected Mary and was called to be Jesus’ foster father. St. Joseph knew the struggles of being a husband and an earthly father to our Lord, and he was always ready to guide and protect—as he still is for our families today.
Sts. Louis and Zelie Martin also provide a great example of a loving couple who welcomed nine children into their family, including a daughter, St. Thérèse of Lisieux, the Little Flower.
“I wanted to have many children, in order to raise them for heaven,” St. Zelie said. This humble couple, who chose a life of service and sacrifice, became the first married couple to be canonized together.
